I've been reflecting on my teaching experience a lot lately and I thought it might be fun to compile a list of the stereotypical 'types' of students that I've encountered.
The Nerd watches anime for at least 4 hours a day, plays video games all night long, and is studying computer science because they want to develop the next big best selling game. You can tell that The Nerd is close by due to the smell they give off from a lack of hygiene. The Nerd is incredibly fat or skinnier than a tooth-pick. The Nerd thinks he will become a good computer programmer because he has lots of experience playing games, and using computer applications and the internet. The Nerd is smart though, and will understand things if you give his overactive mind something to play with. I will end up asking The Nerd, "Do you think Jeff Gordon knows how the racecar he's driving is engineered?" The Nerd will usually figure out that what I'm saying is that being good at video games does not make you a good programmer. The Nerd is fun to teach because they are enthusiastic and very engaging in conversation once you get past their initial shyness. The Nerd is best taught when you can get them in a corner with you for a one-on-one and you can show a little humility and boost their confidence by saying something along the lines of, "Hey I think you're understanding this concept better than I did when I first encountered it, so don't be disappointed that you don't understand everything completely yet!"
The Slob wants to do no work. The Slob is seeking a tutor because they are failing a class and looking to find someone that will do all the work for them to pull them out of the gutter. The Slob can use charm, looks, or persuasion to get a young eager tutor to 'help' them basically do the assignment in their stead. The Slob hates me because I tell him he's a slob straight to his face. I can do no good work for The Slob. I'm sure better tutors than I could make something positive happen with him but I don't have the patience.
The Perfectionist is a good student and very ambitious but has some trouble admitting to any mistakes and has a very hard time admitting when they don't know something. This is weird because The Perfectionist also wants me to confirm if they're assignment is going to get them an 'A'. So when I tell The Perfectionist that they could fix a few things and that they'll likely get a 'B', they look at me as if I'm crazy. The Perfectionist is open to learning but only from someone they respect. One way to gain the respect of The Perfectionist is to type up a program that solves a small, unrelated assignment from the same chapter as the assignment that they are doing, to show them that you know what you're talking about. After that The Perfectionist is usually willing to trust what you say when you assess that they don't understand something.
The Goofball is constantly joking around and distracting other students with their antics. The Goofball is smart but lazy. He is clever and once he finds out I'm a hard-ass he will try to make me look like I have no sense of humor at all in front of the other students. The Goofball will say something along the lines of "Man you're an intense guy. I'm worried about your heart exploding from all that high blood pressure." I'll respond with a smile after laughing, "You don't have to worry about my blood pressure. I run 5 miles every morning at 5am. I'm worried about me too because if you keep making me laugh you'll turn me into a lazy bitch that never gets any work done." The Goofball will laugh too and will read between the lines and realize I'm really calling him the lazy bitch and he'll respect that. The Goofball is not a lost cause though because he is capable of doing some work when he feels like it. If you can find out how to walk the line between being serious and joking around every once in awhile, The Goofball will make some amazing progress. Just don't become close friends with The Goofball. You'll end up getting nothing done when he visits you at the tutoring area every night to bullshit with you.
The Oversensitive hears me say the word 'bitch' to The Goofball and tries to find someone to complain about it to. I never get a chance to teach The Oversensitive because they leave the tutoring area before I get more than two sentences out of my mouth.
The Dweeb is lost and confused all the time. He is a dumbass and needs everything explained in painstaking detail. The Dweeb has no confidence, is easily flustered and often gets red in the cheeks whenever I respond to him with the answer to one of his questions. The Dweeb does not think about if his questions are good ones and just projectile vomits whatever is on his undisciplined mind. The Dweeb is fun to teach because it is fun making him an example to other students of what not to do.
The Quiet Worker is patient. He will sit down and wait for 45 minutes before asking a question. When he does ask it, it's a great question, although he asks it with a bit of a quiver in his voice. When I answer The Quiet Worker, he will listen intently so I'm careful to explain things thoroughly. It will benefit you greatly to take the time to really go deep into a subject with The Quiet Worker because he will only need to be given one good explanation of something and he will remember that explanation well and use it to rip through his assignment. The Quiet Worker sometimes has trouble mustering up the courage to ask a question, especially if he sees that the tutor is busy and there are lots of students to help. Make sure to go out of your way to check up on how The Quiet Worker is doing.
The Genius is just here because he is bored and wants to show off how smart he is. He could be teaching the class or better yet making millions but he instead comes to the tutor area to explain to everyone how smart he is. The Genius would be out of my hair if he only had some damn initiative to do something useful with his smarts besides rattling on about his musings to anyone with an ear or two who will listen. The Genius doesn't really need to learn anything but he comes to the tutor to try and find someone he can actually talk to about various things. I tell The Genius the tutoring area isn't a philosophy club and if that's what he's looking for he should go find one. Luckily The Genius is so rare I don't have to contend with him much.
The Charmer doesn't want to do any homework but they're no slouch at the same time. Their social energy and the way they invest in figuring out what makes other people tick is quite the skillful display. The Charmer gives you compliments, takes genuine interest in your interests, and sympathizes with you in meaningful ways. The Charmer can charm their way through most situations and so they usually can find a tutor who unwittingly ends up doing most of The Charmer's school work for them. To bad it doesn't work on me. The Charmer usually gets frustrated by all my questions and my unwavering focus on the assignment at hand and leaves to find some other tutor more susceptible to their charismatic ways.
I end up in a yelling match with The Know It All. He is smart and motivated but can't take any advice, criticism, or input from anyone besides himself. Sometimes The Know It All can be convinced he should listen to you and respect you if you can demonstrate some of your skill but usually he just dismisses you verbally regardless of what kind of skill you demonstrate. He will say things like, "Oh I knew that all along and I was just testing you to see if you knew what you were talking about," while he secretly remembers that he had it wrong and takes that knowledge with him to go fix something in his assignment. The Know It All has a formidable mind and will make you look stupid until you say, "What was the grade you got on your last programming assignment?" The Know It All will then turn red, mutter to himself, and walk off.
The Jock is concerned with doing well. In sports. He sees you as a tool to continue getting the passable grades that his sport requires for him to keep playing. The Jockette will tell you that they need to get this assignment done in 15 minutes because they're about to go to volleyball practice and that they don't have any time to do this assignment after practice because of their extensive stretching routine. The Jock is fired up about getting schoolwork done but often expects things to take less than 5 minutes so he can be on his merry way fucking bitches or playing ultimate frisbee with his friends. You can get respect from The Jock if you make him sniff your intellectual jock strap. He'll start to make time for you when he sees improvements in his grades. You've just got to project some confidence. "You'll be in the best in your class if you spend an hour with me every day," is a thing you can say to get The Jock on the right track.
The Hot Mess is always running her hands through her hair. Her eye-lids are halfway down her eyeballs and fluttering at you all the damn time. The Hot Mess is constantly stretching and moving her body like a cobra who is trying to seduce you into spilling out all the answers to her assignment. The Hot Mess is always complaining about, "How HARD," the assignment is while placing special emphasis on a certain word in that sentence. You have to resist the urge to give The Hot Mess what she wants, which isn't your dick unfortunately, but rather the answers to her assignment. Stay focused on making her think about how she can understand her assignment. Also stay seated while teaching her until your blood starts flowing back to your brain.
I have a bit of hard time communicating with The Foreigner at first but he is good for me because I'm forced to explain things in more simple terms. The Foreigner will make me realize that I've been substituting my knowledge of jargon for actual knowledge of the subject I'm trying to teach. The Foreigner is hard working and will spend hours with me trying to nail down his understanding. The Foreigner is also curious about why I act the way I do, why I act like such a hard-ass. He wants to understand what the benefit of this way of approaching life is. I indulge him by getting off topic and talking with him about my hard-ass philosophy a bit more than I should but we still get a lot done.